My number one advice to each woman, no matter her age, you need to have a dating period to figure out what you expect from a man. I have been in some toxic relationships when I was younger. Growing up in Romania and gaining weight after a certain age, almost everybody was telling me: “girl, hold on tight to that boy, who knows if you will ever find somebody else to accept you like that. And if he cheats, well that’s what men do.” The only people encouraging me to move on, live life and explore were my parents and my close friends. They have always supported me no matter what and given me wings to fly. But I was young, impressionable and I stayed. Public opinion can shape your life at a young age. And I was miserable for many years. I finally put on my big girl panties (pun intended), got rid of old habits, took a sabatical for over a year when I healed from the pain and didn’t want to hear anything about men, and then started going out to see what was out there for me. Forget curvy girl prejudice, believe me ladies, everybody has a type and there is a type for everybody. You need to celebrate your curves, accept them, love them and shine. That’s it, you need to be confident and shine. And when other people feel that strength in you, they feel naturally drawn to your persona. You don’t need to be rail thin or have a certain body type in order to stand out and be attractive, it comes from within. You will meet men, men that want to date you, want to try to have a one night stand with you or men who want to befriend you at first. So be open and go on dates. I went on many dates for over a year, with men from different backgrounds, with different jobs and different expectations. Did it help? YES. The key is to not invest from the beginning. Don’t put your hopes and dreams into that one man from the start. Go in with an open mind and see what he is all about, what his views and expectations are. Give as much as you get in return and be sure, so sure, that if he isn’t that interested in you, there will come a man who will be. Oh, and when a guy is interested, he will show you. He will make the time. Don’t settle for half assed excuses all the time. Give him the time to figure out if he is interested but if he’s flaky, it’s maybe best to move on. I have learned something valuable. If you meet the right guy at the wrong time, then he wasn’t the right guy for you. Because if attraction and chemistry are there, he will turn that wrong time into a right time. Let him find the right girl so you can live your best life and maybe find yous. Don’t live your life waiting for the right man. Live life for yourself. You are not incomplete without a man and you shouldn’t settle in order to have somebody. Better to use that time to travel, make your dreams come true and become a better version of yourself. That’s what I did. I was starving for affection until I started realising that I might as well use this time for myself and give myself the affection I need. Because if you don’t love yourself, you will set yourself up for less. And you deserve more. Be open with what you expect from a man. If you just want fun, have some fun but try protecting your heart. We tend to get invested pretty quickly and men get away on a technicality: but babe, we aren’t together, we’re just spending time together.
If you are on the market for a relationship, don’t spring it on him from the start. But if you think he could be the one, let him know at some point what your intentions are. Don’t try to be someone you are not, just to cater to somebody. Be yourself, be genuine and be independent. I promise you, there will come somebody who fill fit just right. Relationships take time and a certain amount of compromise but you don’t have to change who you are because you think that will make him more interested. As cheesy as it sounds, when you know, you know. I have been so unsure about some guys but I was sure it was going to work out. And it didn’t. Today, I have found somebody to share my life with and I am happy. And it feels sure AF. A last shoutout to the curvy girls amongst us. Your figure is perfect the way it is, size does not define you and it shouldn’t be an issue. We people are made so differently because each person has a different taste. And there is a person out there who will love, admire and desire you the way you are. Because being plus sized or too thin is not a weakness, it’s just a body size, nothing more. I will share some experiences of mine with dating in the weeks to come. If you need an extra boost or advice, let me know. I’m good with listening and dishing it out.